I think "Go Like This" by Lorrie Moore is really a suicide note in the guise of the last story of a writer with cancer. This suicide note is written by Elizabeth, the narrator of the story. This story is made up of fragments spanning many days leading up to the suicide itself. Elizabeth writes about having cancer, her beliefs regarding her planned suicide, and her interactions with her family and friends.
Towards the end of the story, Elizabeth writes about telling her daughter, Blaine, of her plans for suicide. She writes "I got a chance, after all, to say you're young and probably don't understand" (78). To me this shows that Elizabeth realizes that it would be impossible for her young daughter to understand all the issues surrounding the planned suicide. Also, she realizes how if she let others explain to her daughter when she is older, Blaine would not get her mother's true beliefs, just a second hand interpretation from her father or other family.
Elizabeth feels very strongly about her beliefs, strongly enough to kill herself. Furthermore, she plans this in spite of the fact that she says "well maybe I'm not going to heaven" (80) A person with such strong beliefs would not want her daughter to live a life not understanding why her mother killed herself, and what her mother really believed in that made her do such a thing.
In parts of the story, it seems as if Elizabeth is justifying her decision and her reason to her reader. "I say I have chosen suicide as the most rational and humane alternative to my cancer, an act no so much of self sacrifice as of beauty, of sparing" (71). This is written in the context of announcing her plans to a gathering of family and friends. However, I think she also means to justify herself to the reader in this passage. The point of the story generally seems more focused on her thought process as she chooses suicide than just a history of events. She clearly presents her beliefs and logical reasons for suicide. For these reasons, I think the real purpose of this story is to explain to her daughter, and also to serve as a permanent record of why she killed herself so that no one twists her ideas in to something she didn't truly believe.
Yes, I agree that this story was more than what it was presented as. I think the real thing that shines through the guise is the importance of conveying one's own thoughts to all your loved ones before passing on, rather than leaving them to draw their own flawed conclusions. I agree, I saw this all as a note to the young daughter, for whom it sort of seems she is committing suicide, kind of as a way to preserve her image and dignity before descending into the depths of cancerous disease.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. For me, having a story whose title would essentially suggest an outline as to how one should end their life, is jarring in and of itself. The way in which the character draws out her decision by telling her friends and family members, to me, is indicative that she hasn't even convinced herself yet. She's hoping for the "support" of those surrounding her, but in reality, she's quietly wishing that they'll give her the final push she needs to end her life. As is with all of the stories in this collection, the main character is very contemplative, analyzing her surroundings and seeing the world she lives in for what it really is. The fact that she's so self-reflective matches up well with her actions throughout the story, in that smart people who like to think, tend to overdo it at times. She's likely second guessed herself numerous times, and is aiming to justify things, not only for herself, but to the reader. The notion that this story could be, in essence, a suicide note to her daughter, is fascinating. It's not explicitly stated anywhere in the narrative, but it would certainly make sense, given the language and tone of the story, that her child could be the intended audience of this story.
ReplyDeleteI never really thought about the fact that this story itself could be a suicide note to her daughter, but it does make sense. It would be really interesting to think about how the daughter would react if this story was indeed the suicide note the mother left for her daughter. Of course, we don't know much about the daughter both because she is so young and she isn't the main character, but I would still expect her to maybe feel a little bit more "content" having seen her mother's own thoughts and experiences and beliefs through her eyes. Very insightful post!
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